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For Allan & Andrea: |
From the wise and deftly amusing pen of Sallie Goetsch came an email this week which can only be described as sublime gameplay.
HOW TO COPE WITH USELESS, FILLER, CANT PHRASEOLOGY IN MEETINGS
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings, forums and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here’s a way to change all of that.
- Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5″ x 5″ is a good size. Divide the card into columns – five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
- Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
- synergy
- strategic fit
- core competencies
- best practice
- bottom line
- revisit
- expeditious
- to tell you the truth (or “the truth is”)
- 24/7
- out of the loop
- benchmark
- value-added
- proactive
- win-win
- think outside the box
- fast track
- result-driven
- empower (or empowerment)
- knowledge base
- at the end of the day
- touch base
- mindset
- client focus(ed)
- paradigm
- game plan
- leverage
- action item
- issues
- Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
- When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”
Sheer brilliance, to which I can only add the phrases I detest: ‘going forward’ and ‘socialise’. I know that Neville would add ‘monetise’
{ 6 comments }
Eeek, Lee! I didn’t invent this–it’s one of those jokes that gets forwarded around the internet, so I can’t even tell you who did invent it. Sorry I didn’t make that clear when I passed it on.
Lee,
I know when I need a good laugh I can count on you. Thanks!
It looks like some of the stuff on the weasel words website (www.weaselwords.com.au).
Agreed, Paull; I’ve written about weaselwords before — a fantastic site!
Wonderful& hilarious! Now, in non-productive meetings (the rule, not the exception!) I can fill up my pad with words and not just numbers – I usually spend my time guessing salaries of participants and calculating how much money we’re wasting per minute!
ha ha ha!! I’d never thought of salary guessing — what a great way to pass the time. I’ve tried imagining the participants in their underwear before — which always creates a smile and a quizzical look from the chairman.
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