A high school teacher was arrested today at Adelaide International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a lunchtime press conference, Sgt Ted Stedenko of the Adelaide Metropolitan Police said he believed the man is a member of the notorious ‘Al-gebra’ movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by ASIO with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
“Al-gebra is a real problem for us,” Stedenko said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.
They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.”
When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister John Howard said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”